Your Relationship With You Should Be A Safe Haven

At any time and under any circumstance, the relationship you have with you should always be a safe haven. Being able to come to you to shelter your fears is a principle of self-care.

Being able to stay in the shells of your loneliness to talk to yourself and nurture your self-esteem is an exercise in psychological well-being that everyone, absolutely everyone, should practice.

Carl Jung said that nothing is as scary as starting to accept ourselves as we are. It’s true. This journey of absolute validation takes time, its delicate maceration and singular suffering.

I wish it was as easy as pressing a button, like reading a self-help book and understanding in a second how to love yourself better and detect every irrational idea, every bias, every internal criticism and wrong approach.

That task takes time, because for many years some of us have become used to judging ourselves through the eyes of others. If we were loved badly as children, there is a high probability that we loved ourselves badly as adults. If someone repeated to us that we were not good at that and that, we ended up taking it for granted.

Almost without realizing it, and through similar experiences, our internal universe ceases to be a refuge to make our mind a little habitable scene. Because in that interior everything is messy and badly organized.

It is necessary to rebuild ourselves in depth and clean up to begin to accept ourselves, value ourselves as we deserve and become our best allies. Let’s see how to do it.

Your relationship with you, a bond of balance and essential well-being

What mental photograph do you have of your own person? Do you perceive yourself as someone strong, confident and capable of dealing with day-to-day problems? Do you trust yourself to achieve your dreams?

The life you lead… is it the result of your decisions or the wishes and preferences of others? We could put ten, a hundred, a thousand examples, proposals and ideas of what it means to build a good relationship with one’s own person and, even so, we would fall short.

Because being our safe haven goes much more than that self-acceptance of those who finally manage to be well with their appearance, with their face or with their figure.

Loving and respecting yourself is above all else, being absolutely validated in any vital area. In this journey of self-acceptance, Jung, as we well know, spoke of the importance of assuming our shadows, those most uncomfortable and negative aspects of oneself.

Now, it is interesting, for example, to remember what Nelson Mandela once pointed out. The terrifying thing is not embracing one’s own darkness. The most difficult thing is being aware of our light.

When you discover your own human potential, true fear and true responsibility arise. We all have talents, we are all precious in our own way and capable of achieving great goals.

But … how to do it? It is interesting to recall here the four “compartments” of self-love. Those that will help us create our own mental safe haven.

Self-awareness, the room of knowledge and perception

Your relationship with you needs, first of all, that you be aware of your mental and emotional processes. To think well is to live well. This implies knowing how to detect those ideas that limit you, those internal dialogues that boycott you or limit your potential.

Also, you must remember another aspect: your brain does not speak Spanish, English or Korean. Your brain speaks the language of emotions.

Think about what emotions mediate your behaviors, your decisions, how you feel today and detect, in turn, what fears are holding you back. Knowing how to manage these processes will be of great help.

Self-esteem, the lighted room

The relationship with you needs a well-lit room where you feel optimistic and hopeful. It is a room where you can renew your strength and in which light acts as a healing mechanism capable of repairing mistakes, capable of giving you an injection of energy when you doubt yourself, when others dare to violate your worth.

In this space of your safe haven you will always find the calm you need in moments of doubt, fear or conflict. Here everything is centered and balanced to remind you of what you deserve at all times.

The self-care room to strengthen the relationship with you

In that internal scenario to which you go daily to take care of your mental and psychological well-being, you cannot forget the self-care room.

Here and to strengthen the relationship with you, you will always and at all times remember that you cannot relegate yourself to a secondary character in the theater of life.

• You deserve to take care of your relationships. If someone makes you unhappy, it is better to distance yourself.
• Self-care is being clear about your limits and what you are willing to tolerate.
• This room will also remind you that you must take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Aspects such as knowing when to stop and rest, when to indulge yourself, when to enjoy leisure or strive to achieve your goals, are activities in which you will work in this your safe haven.

In conclusion. As we can see, building that sensational refuge to which to go constantly for advice, support, affection and validation, undoubtedly requires a constant and active commitment.

Those rooms cannot be abandoned or neglected. Let us attend to the good health of that internal construction, so that everything, absolutely everything, goes better.