The Recipe For Happiness, According To Dan Gilbert

Dan Gilbert is a social psychologist, writer, and professor at Harvard University. He became famous with his book Stumbling on Happiness , which has been translated into more than 30 languages. He also became famous because, in his many talks and conferences, he claims to have found what everyone is looking for: the recipe for happiness.

At first glance, Gilbert’s approaches might seem frivolous. The recipe for happiness seems more associated with the self-help market than with a deep approach. However, he is a rigorous psychologist. He is convinced that if there is a recipe for happiness, but also ensures that the task  ” no shortcuts “.

He points out that the first problem is that there are many people who are not clear about what makes them happy. It also indicates that you cannot, and should not, be happy all the time. If that were the case, we would not finally know how to distinguish between being happy and not being happy. It points out that a compass that always points to the same place is useless. It must fluctuate, be sensitive to changes.

The science of happines

Dan Gilbert says that being happy is an easier goal than most people think. Happiness is not hidden somewhere, nor is it a treasure to be found suddenly. Nor is it a result of achieving certain goals  or a gift that comes with luck or good fortune.

Gilbert distinguishes synthetic happiness and natural happiness. The synthetic is the one that results from achieving  something that we propose. A job, a marriage, a trip, the first place in a competition, a “like” or whatever. In his opinion, this happiness is transitory and is strongly conditioned to a specific result.

On the other hand, there is natural happiness. This is not a feeling , but a state that arises “by default.” It is there that, when we achieve a goal, but also when we do not achieve it. It is born from within and what happens outside cannot substantially modify it. And yes: there is a recipe for happiness. It is actually very simple.

The recipe of happiness

The recipe for happiness has only two ingredients and both are available to anyone who wants to appropriate them. The first step is not to overestimate the suffering. There are a large number of people who nurture the bad memories and the bad times they have been through, thinking about them and fixing them. But, not only that, they also exaggerate the suffering to come.

This ingredient is associated with the second step of the recipe for happiness: trusting in your own resilience. This means convincing ourselves that we will be able to resolve any situation that involves pain. Precisely, the lack of confidence in our power to manage pain is one of the factors that fuel suffering.

We do or stop undertaking many projects for fear of the appearance of suffering. In this way, we end up being limited by the anticipation of it. The worst thing is that many times this suffering is not concrete: it has already happened or it has not taken place. And the fear that is in the background is not to live that suffering, but to not have the capacity to assume it.

Clues of happiness

The recipe for happiness is complemented by common practices that help us to have more confidence in our own resilience. It includes five simple activities that are available to anyone. Dan Gilbert says that learning to be happy is like losing weight: we have to do our part.

The daily practices to be carried out are:

• Wanting to be happy. Happiness is a daily decision.
• Take care of you. Eat healthy, exercise half an hour a day and sleep seven hours. They are minimum conditions for happiness.
• Establish and maintain healthy relationships. Get away from who makes you feel bad and get closer to those you love.
• Pleasant activities. Having a menu of the activities that you like to do the most and not placing them at the bottom of the priority scale, after a lot of obligations.
• Thank. To yourself, to life, to anyone who contributes something to you, teaches you something or allows you to grow in some way. Helping others, yes or yes, increases the level of happiness.

Natural happiness is a state that we build step by step, day by day. The good news is that, from our possibilities, we are all capable of reaching it at times. In this sense, conviction and motivation is that energy that drives us, while skills such as emotional intelligence facilitate the transition. In some way, the recipe for happiness is there, in that desire to want to enjoy life.