The Path Of Freedom
Much of our difficulties come from the strong ties in which we remain mired. It can be a relationship with a partner, dependence on parents or a fact from the past that does not stop haunting you. Maybe it’s addiction to a substance or behavior. The truth is that you know that you are wearing a chain that you think you cannot get rid of, but at the same time you hate.
There are moments of light when you finally decide to take the final step. Either because the situation became frankly intolerable or because you discovered a strong need to be free thanks to psychotherapy, a reading or some new fact in your life.
Do not think that you have it easy. What follows after your resolution is a sea of doubts, contradictions and losses. No one is going to launch doves to the flight to celebrate your path to freedom, nor are the bells going to ring in all the squares in honor of you. But breaking free from the chain is a brave and extraordinary act for which you will receive a prize greater than all the tributes in the world: freedom.
These are ten of the stations you are sure to go through, if you stay on the road to liberation.
You lose some friends
Without realizing it, you have cultivated friendships that either help you carry the chain, or reinforce the idea that this tie is necessary. Those friends are the first to disappear when you’ve made the decision to free yourself. Over and over again they will question your decision and invite you to give up. If they can’t, they turn away from you. They no longer have a place.
You feel confused all the time
Do not think that a momentous decision is made when everything is clear to you. On the contrary, what reigns is confusion. You find thousands of arguments in favor of your freedom, but also thousands against. The human being by nature resists change and confusion is part of that process.
You experience many moments of sadness
Although it may seem surprising to you, losing the problems you are used to puts you in a grieving process. Almost as if you lost a loved one. These chains are part of you and their absence produces a feeling of emptiness and pain. Getting rid of something, even if it hurts you, in principle never produces happiness.
You become monothematic
You’re just talking about it. You are repetitive with the topic and it seems like you can’t think of anything else. More than one interlocutor will make you realize how infuriating your obsession with the problem is. Don’t worry, it’s normal.
You get discouraging messages
As in principle you do not show signs of the liberation that you have undertaken, more than one person will approach you to try to demonstrate the uselessness of your task. Don’t listen to them. Your attitude confronts them in front of their own chains and more than looking for your well-being, they are trying to justify their lack of determination.
You doubt that you are capable
At various times you will think that the situation is overwhelming you. That maybe you were wrong to impose a challenge for which, probably, you were not qualified. Take it as part of the process and persist.
You change your habits
There is a point where you almost imperceptibly begin to alter your routine. Maybe you go to different places, or you hang out with different people. Perhaps you will introduce a new activity to your life or find a new hobby. You are close to your new area of freedom.
You care more about yourself
You discover that a change in your appearance or finally taking that trip that you have wanted so much can be a good idea. You may choose a better diet and say “yes” and “no” more confidently. You feel that you appreciate yourself more than before.
You know there is no going back
You value all the effort that the change has cost you and you have the certainty, beyond all doubt, that you are not willing to go back. This new form of freedom gives you a certain sense of fulfillment that you don’t want to trade for anything in the world. You have done it.
Image courtesy of D. Sharon Pruitt.
