The Life Cycle Of The Couple
Throughout life we go through different stages of growth that pose new challenges and opportunities. And the same happens with affective relationships, since they are changing and transforming at the same time that we do. The life cycle of the couple accounts for the different states that the bond embodies over the years, and the main difficulties and experiences that accompany each of them.
Not all couples live each of the phases, since these are closely related to family life. And, in the same way, even those who form a family, may decide to continue separately at some point. Even so, the life cycle of the couple that we present below is the common roadmap to many emotional bonds that last over time.
The life cycle of the couple
Formation of the couple
It could be said that the vital journey of a couple begins even before both members meet. And it does so with the expectations and desires that each of them forms with respect to their ideal partner.
In this way, when we meet someone who seems to fit this mental mold, infatuation arises. During this stage the body releases large amounts of hormones that make us feel full, euphoric and full of energy. The other becomes the center of our world and its defects are completely ignored.
It’s later in the courtship that these not-so-attractive traits really come to the fore. Emotional intensity decreases and intimacy and complicity gain weight. A common project that is more mature and free of this hormonal torrent begins to be built.
If this stage develops properly, it usually culminates in a show of commitment such as the beginning of coexistence. In this stage, the couple must learn to negotiate and intertwine their points of view to reach a common understanding. The family of origin of each one will lose weight compared to the new family unit that is being created and which is, now, a priority.
Family with young children
The birth of the first child marks a milestone in family life. The dynamics and routines change completely, and the little one and his needs become the center of home life. Life as a couple can become neglected and neglected due to exhaustion or lack of time; For this reason, it is essential that both make an effort to continue cultivating their bond in this new circumstance.
As infants get older, they demand less time and supervision, but then the couple may face conflict, arguments, and disagreements stemming from the raising of their children. If the two of you act as a team and come to terms about it, it can be one of the sweetest periods in family life.
Family with teenagers
Adolescence is a time full of changes and turbulence. For the same reason, parents’ attention can focus excessively on their children and their conflicts and concerns, and become somewhat disconnected as a couple. In addition, both parents will have to face the mourning for the loss of the child who is beginning to become an adult. This stage requires great flexibility and work both personally and jointly.
Emancipation and empty nest
The departure of children from home can have a strong impact on those who had neglected their bond by focusing excessively on parenting. Furthermore, in all cases there is a restructuring of roles and routines.
However, this stage also opens up the possibility of a “second courtship” in which the couple is reunited, now free from their parental responsibilities, and begins a period of stability, calm and enjoyment.
The life cycle of the couple: a common life path
In short, being in a couple implies assuming and facing the challenges of each life period in the company of the other. To the personal work that each change of stage requires, the need to care for and attend to the affective bond is added. Communication, empathy and flexibility will be great allies on this path.
If each phase is overcome in a satisfactory way, both members of the relationship will transform at the same time, growing together. However, it is possible that at some point the healthiest thing is to continue separately. Finally, each person’s path is different and does not necessarily have to be linked to someone else’s forever.