The Importance Of Learning To Communicate Effectively
How many times do we communicate something and others interpret it in a very different way than we expected? How many personal conflicts are generated from a misunderstanding? We live in society and we depend on each other in countless ways. It is essential to have the ability to express ourselves and learn to communicate efficiently with others.
Whether we want to prosper, or if we want to cultivate an intense social life that satisfies us on a personal level, we need to improve our communication skills. To do this, it is necessary to take into account some keys that will help us to do so.
Keys to communicate effectively
1. Communicate by being concise, not repetitive
When we reiterate a message giving too many explanations, over and over again, our interlocutor may feel belittled, as if we think that he or she is not capable of understanding it the first time. It is always possible to raise something extremely deep and meaningful, but in a simple way, without so many clarifications and repetitions.
In addition, if we are very repetitive, the attention of our interlocutor will decline and he will stop listening to us, even when we are transmitting relevant information. That is why it is important to speak clearly, concisely and non-repetitively.
2. Try to be specific and to the point
To make our communication effective, we have to express ourselves specifically and clearly. Let’s put the ambiguities and generalizations aside and say exactly what we want. If we express ourselves bluntly, the effect will be much better.
To think too much about the matter, it can cause confusion. When this happens, and they ask us: “Have you heard what I told you?” The answer is usually: “You have told me so many things that I don’t know what you mean.” At this point, the speaker tends to get angry because he does not feel heard, however, he must know that perhaps it is his way of communicating that is failing.
3. When communicating, do not go back
Nothing good comes from bringing up issues from the past and going back to old grudges, except pain and problems.
It is true that the past can serve us a lot and show us the way forward, but as long as we are willing to consider it in a positive way, that is, trying to learn from it. Reminiscing over and over again what happened, without intending to grasp the implicit “lesson”, does not bring good results.
4. Find the right time and space to communicate
It is obvious that there are topics that cannot be addressed anywhere. When we have to communicate something difficult to another person, it is best to do it in private.
On the contrary, if we are going to congratulate or congratulate someone, it is advisable to do it in public, where others can also listen. It is not necessary to flatter excessively, but if we do it naturally, the person will surely feel highly valued.
5. Address issues separately, one after the other
It is not advisable to take several topics together, which have nothing to do with each other.
Sometimes we want to seize the moment and bring up a long list of pending issues, but most likely this only produces anger and discomfort in the interlocutor.
6. Monitor silent communication
What is said verbally is not everything. Your gestures, the tone and volume of your voice, as well as the faces you make, have to match what you are saying. Otherwise the message is lost. What you say is as important as how you say it.
As Elisabeth Corrales (2011) affirms , we must be careful with the non-verbal message since “many times this message is stronger than the verbal one, since it can even give us away a lie” .
On the other hand, McEntee (1996) assures that “through the gestures, facial expressions and the tension or corporal relaxation that are described, certain information is communicated to us about the relationship between two characters” .
7. Do not speak in absolute terms
When we say expressions like “you always do the same thing”, we are applying labels that are not true. If we express ourselves like this, we are probably being unfair and dishonest. If solving a conflict is the objective, let’s try to use more relative terms such as “sometimes” or “often”, which make our interlocutor feel better.
When you have to make constructive criticism, refer to the behavior and not to the person itself. Most of the time, in a given situation, what we really dislike is someone’s specific behavior and not the person themselves. It is essential to understand the difference and also make it clear.
In conclusion, communicating effectively is an art and it is worth making an effort to do it better and better. That will ensure great success in our relationships, allowing misunderstandings and conflicts to stay away from us as much as possible.
