The Fears That Push Us To Be Invisible

In our childhood, we hardly had fears, shame and much less worries. We trusted ourselves and our abilities. Because of that, we shone. However, as we grew older, our self-confidence waned, to the point of wishing we were invisible.

The desire to be invisible comes from all those social and cultural beliefs that we are acquiring and that are solidifying as we advance in age. As we well know, beliefs limit us. For example, if we think that making a mistake at an exhibition is a failure and we do so, we probably dislike public speaking later. We will even think that we are lousy speakers when we are not.

Some of the beliefs we have only favor our fears. Fear of being left alone, that no one loves us, that they do not notice us. Fear of not having the perfect family, of not getting the best grades, of disappointing others or of not measuring up. Our fears push us to be invisible while we identify with certain labels that have nothing to do with us.

Our greatness scares us

We live in a society that constantly throws us down, that causes us to compare ourselves with others and to analyze all our shortcomings under the microscope. Where are our virtues? In the shadow. They are waiting for us to look at them to come to light and thus be aware of our full potential.

But where do all those fears that invite us to be invisible begin to develop? Usually in the family. In the context where we have spent most of our time and that to a large extent, we have become our safety zone, as long as everything has gone well.

Now, when we are the exception and our behavior is different from what is expected, that security disappears and sometimes, we are filled with fears.  For example, in a family where physical work is widely recognized, if suddenly a member is dedicated to art or to be a programmer, they may have to hear: “That is not real work.”

The misunderstanding on the part of those we considered a source of support threatens our self-confidence and in some cases, our way of valuing ourselves.

We find security in being faithful to family beliefs. Follow in the footsteps of our parents, get a job similar to them … But when this is not the case, the feeling of protection is broken to give way to fear and the desire to be invisible at certain times.

The 3 fears that drive us to be invisible

Family is not the only one that can make us want to be invisible, be like everyone else and not stand out. There are many other fears that are growing and strengthening due to certain beliefs that have to do with the social sphere. Let’s see what these 3 fears consist of that are not allowing us to reveal who we really are.

1. Fear of arousing the envy of others

All of us have something unique, a special ability or a natural gift that allows us to do things for which we would like to be recognized. However, we know that standing out implies exposing ourselves to other people envy us. Therefore, we will have to face criticism, judgment and rejection.

For some, depending on their past experiences, this can be excruciating as we tend to seek approval from others. The desire to shine, but also the fear of doing so, cause us to find ourselves between two options: to shine and make our essence known or to be invisible following the expectations of others.

2. Fear of being alone

The fear of being alone is a fear that affects many people. A belief that causes us to conform to what others approve so that they accept us. For example, if we are very joking people, but around us our friends are ashamed of us, we will try to change and repress that part of us so that we are not left alone.

Ultimately, we choose to be invisible so that others will accept us. However, we would have to ask ourselves, is it worth it to be with people who do not accept who we are in essence? Being alone is like stepping out of our comfort zone. That is why we are so afraid of not finding more friends, a partner or a person who truly accepts us.

Now, if we change, if we blur our essence, there will come a time when we wonder who we really are. Choosing to be as others expect implies a betrayal of ourselves, a rejection of our self that in the long run will cause us great discomfort.

Recovering will be a process that will invite us to face all that we really fear. A complex but satisfactory path when the goal is reached, because there is nothing more beautiful than a reunion with ourselves.

3. Fear of losing our public identity

If in our childhood our family has told us that “We do not deserve anything we receive” it is very likely that we grow up thinking and acting accordingly. So not only will we think that we don’t deserve a gift, we are also unworthy of affection. We have adopted an identity of undeserving. 

Curiously, we are terrified of losing what we have been told we were. That identity with which we do not really identify ourselves, even though we have learned to do so. That is why it is so difficult for us to move forward at times. We have built a world according to who we think we are, who we have been told we are. Hence, without realizing it and without wanting to do so, we flee from any show of affection.

For this reason, it is important to unlearn, dive inside ourselves and really know who we really are. Because many times we choose to be invisible because of the veracity that we believe that the opinions of others about us have.

We may have chosen to be invisible until now, but we can decide to stop being so from now on. Get rid of the labels that have been imposed on us, of the fears that serve nothing more than to limit us and find in us the best of companies.