We are increasingly surprised by the behaviors that children have towards their parents: disrespect, insults, raising their voices, among many others. A type of authority that goes from being in the parents to passing on to the children.

It seems that the roles have been exchanged. It is no longer the parents who set rules and impose punishments, but the children have all the authority.

What has happened? Why this change? Since it was established that any “slap on the ass” or “slap on the ears” was already considered abuse, parents were intimidated and children saw an effective way to manipulate their parents.

This submission is not beneficial for our children, who grow up being hostile to their own family and with an authoritarian belief that sooner or later will take its toll on them.

In the mind of the authoritarian child

A child with “Emperor Syndrome” will always choose what to eat, what others should do, when to go out, where the family will go on vacation, what is seen on television … In short, he orders, dictates and commands so much in him as in the others.

Why is this happening? Because these children have underdeveloped empathy. This means that they are not capable of experiencing the emotions and feelings that have to do with putting themselves in the shoes of others.

If we do not comply with what the authoritarian child dictates and orders, we will have to endure his tantrums, tantrums and, in some cases, aggressions.  Thus he becomes a child more than authoritarian, dictator. It is very easy to distinguish a child who has the terrible “Emperor Syndrome” because they have the following characteristics:

• They have personality traits of self-centeredness.
• They have a low tolerance for frustration.
• They do not know how to control or regulate their feelings and emotions.
• They do not tolerate that their demands are not met.
• They know the weaknesses of others.
• They are experts psychologically manipulating others.

When we acknowledge all this, we sometimes wonder why we are not doing anything to solve it. Especially when we see it externally. There are many television programs that show this terrible behavior. Why don’t parents act on it? Because they are afraid, but above all because they have allowed their own children to subdue them.

The importance of educating

For unknown reasons, there are parents who exercise a passive and quite relaxed education that encourages these children to become authoritarian sooner or later. This not only causes problems at home, but also at school. How are teachers going to deal with these authoritarian personalities?

These children do not know what respect, forgiveness is … they are completely unaware of their place. Because of this, they become defiant people with no goal in their life other than to have everyone at their mercy. Parents have chosen to passively educate their children, without considering the consequences that sooner or later they will begin to regret

We know that educating is an arduous, complicated task that requires a lot of effort and energy that, sometimes, we do not have or do not want to have. But, when we decide to have children, it is one of the first premises that we accept. We take on the responsibility of educating them, something that inevitably takes effort.

When they are still children, we can believe that we have time to solve this attitude that is overwhelming us at the moment. The problem is when adolescence appears and we are involved in a maelstrom of contradictory actions that can lead to aggression. This step towards maturity is immersed in something that they consider “correct.” Meanwhile, they waste their time believing that they enjoy life while they are wasting it.

That is why it is so important that as parents we strive, so that our children also learn the value of effort and know that it is important to be responsible and respectful of others.

Limits are necessary. We are training people who are going to live together in this world and of whom we should be proud. If we don’t care, we can’t wait for a change.

Authoritarian children will fall flat on their faces many times until they learn, but they will never understand why no one has helped them by educating them from the beginning.

Courtesy images Nicoletta Ceccoli, Iván Alfaro