Sociotropy, When Overturning Yourself In Others Ends Badly

Sociotropy defines a personality type with a great need to invest time and effort in interpersonal relationships. They do it out of a desperate attempt to be accepted, avoid loneliness and feel validated in each of their actions. The most problematic thing about this character trait is that sooner or later it usually reveals more than one psychological problem.

Anxiety, depression, codependent relationships, unhealthy attachment, low self-esteem … The kaleidoscope of pathological nuances that this profile traces is as well known as it is exhausting. Although it reminds us a lot of Wendy’s syndrome, it should be noted that this personality pattern was defined in his day by the psychotherapist Aaron T. Beck. 

The interest in sociotropic men and women has already been researched for several decades. Their presences, always vulnerable, insecure and eternally in need of other people’s consideration, are recurrent in psychological consultations due to frequent navigation in the universe of depression.

What is sociotropy?

Sociotropy is characterized by an excessive, excessive and pathological investment in interpersonal relationships. They are satellite people devoutly orbiting others in order to gain validation, feel integrated, accepted and recognized. This sometimes causes situations that are as absurd as they are uncomfortable.

The sociotropic personality can give excessive attention and affection to those who barely know. It is, to contextualize it in some way, that new co-worker who suddenly goes out of his way for everyone, who showers them with favors and kind words to the point of being uncomfortable.

It is easy to identify this personality trait because they indulge in excess and their behavior often borders on servility and desperation for approval. The affection and excessive interest in others, constant attention or even prioritizing people who do not yet know in depth draw a very problematic profile on a psychological level.

Aaron T. Beck and Sociotropy-Autonomy Scale (SAS)

One of the personalities who was most interested in defining, understanding and identifying sociotropy was Aaron T. Beck. Now, something that studies like the one carried out at Shippensburg University show us is that the famous psychotherapist established that sociotropy has a behavioral and cognitive opposite: autonomy. 

• Sociotropy is the exact opposite of personal autonomy. Thus, while the former focuses entirely on attending to interpersonal relationships, people with autonomy seek and work on their own independence, without worrying excessively about others.

What does the Beck scale measure about sociotropy / autonomy?

The Aaron T. Beck scale seeks to identify the sociotropic personality and the autonomous personality. To do this, and to create the

• Sociotropy is defined by fear of the disapproval of others / constant preoccupation with being part of someone or a certain group / fear of loneliness or separation from others / complacency.
• Autonomy is distinguished by autonomous and individual performance / need not to be under anyone’s control / preference for solitude.

Sociotropic people and depression

If there is one aspect in which sociotropy as a personality trait generates interest, it is because of its tendency to lead to depressive disorders. The scientific literature on this topic is extensive.

Thus, an investigation from the University of Santiago de Compostela highlights how ruminant thinking and this more immature emotional approach lay the foundations for both major depression and generalized anxiety. In general, the causes of these psychological conditions are built in the following aspects:

• Low self-esteem
• A shy personality that combines on the one hand the constant need to be validated, loved, cared for and accepted with the need also to maintain their own spaces. That contradiction causes them suffering.

• They are not very assertive men and women.
• They have a continuous tendency to ruminant thought, to turn things around, question everything they say and do, regretting what they have done, judging themselves and criticizing themselves.
• Poor emotional management.
• Their desire to be socially accepted leads them to behaviors that they later feel bad about, further fracturing their self-concept.
• Excessive fear of loneliness.

The importance of self-acceptance

When Aaron T. Beck studied this personality he basically encountered people who struggled with their shyness and their need for attention, approval, and affection. This paradox in which the desperation to be part of others is integrated with personal insecurity and self-withdrawal, produced in them a great internal conflict.

The approach to helping people with sociotropy is to develop in them more autonomous, assertive and self-confident character bases with which to build good self-esteem. The complicated thing is that, many times, these figures reach the limit, with major depressive disorders and an affective history full of failures.

It is essential to act as soon as possible. We cannot demand that others offer us what we do not give ourselves. Before claiming external validation, let’s start by being our only and best providers of self-love and self-acceptance.