Reflected Valuation: Self Through Others

In a quick analysis, we could think that the assessment that a person makes of himself comes from processes such as introspection or reasoning. However, reflected valuation also plays an important role in forming self-concept.

Although we are told that the opinion of others should not be a cause for concern, the truth is that it has a certain undeniable influence on the construction of identity. As you will read later, this has been called reflected valuation.

What is reflected valuation?

The term reflected valuation refers to the process by which the image that we believe that others have of us influences our self-concept. In this sense, when defining our own personality, the way we think others see us is important.

As you might expect, the thought that we attribute to loved ones is often more important than strangers. In addition, to get an idea of ​​the image they have of us, not only their verbal version is important, but also how they behave. For example, a child whose pictures are always hanging on the refrigerator might make him think that his parents think that he draws very well.

In fact, it has been shown in studies for many years that the evaluations, even imaginary ones, that children believe they receive from their parents influence self-evaluation. According to Felson, the author of this study, this occurred even when the assessments are imprecise.

The social relevance that we attribute to the individual who is evaluating us also plays a decisive role in self-assessment. Imagine, for example, that a world-renowned literary critic praises the prose of a book you have written. This opinion would carry much more weight than that of someone who did not understand literature.

The number of people who agree on an opinion about their own personality is also a relevant factor. The more people have the same opinion about the subject, the more established will be that trait that is acquired by reflected valuation.

What good is reflected valuation?

The social function that the reflected valuation has is clear as far as group adaptation is concerned. To the extent that you want to fit into a group of any kind, the opinions of others are important. And this is not the only function, here you can read some others:

• Some of our qualities do not reach our consciousness: for example, someone may be humble and not realize it until someone else tells them. At that point, that person might consider incorporating the trait of humility into their self-concept.
• To compare ourselves with others: when self-evaluation includes the opinion of others, using others as a reference point to improve or feel more comfortable with ourselves can be a process that derives from the evaluation reflected in a natural way.
• As a form of impression control:  if the opinion of others is influential, the process can be used in the opposite direction to, for example, help someone to improve their self-esteem by showing them behaviors that reflect the affection that is professed.

The importance of balance

Now that you have seen that the opinion of others is also a key part of who we are, it is important to clarify. The valuation of others, with its tendency to create polarized and absolute judgments, is a juicy bait to nibble. This does not mean that you should not trust others to define aspects of personality, but when it depends solely on yourself, doubts are more likely than when someone else says it.

When what others say influences too much of our self-concept, there is a risk of losing consistency and even a sense of individual identity. So that this does not happen, it is important to maintain a balance between what the internal experience tells us and what the outside reflects us.

Keeping your balance is not an easy task; on the one hand, the pressure of social networks and the construction of a perfect life in the eyes of others; on the other, the need for individuality and the opposite pressure, by which depending on others to evaluate oneself is weak. However, the complexity of the challenge does not make it impossible, although it is difficult, demanding that we make a conscious effort to manage the influence of the different focuses on our self-concept.