Life Is Too Short To Live Someone Else’s Plans
They say that life is short, that it happens in a sigh and that when we realize it, we are already living more of the memories than of what happens around us.
And the truth is that more than fearing that fleetingness of our existence, what really scares is not the mistakes, or the falls, and even less the times that we have lost ourselves on the way. What is terrifying is a life not lived, or even more, having let our days be adjusted to the plans and dreams of second people.
Sometimes it takes us a long time to realize that the life we live does not make us happy. At first we let ourselves be carried away, perhaps out of love, perhaps out of hopes and illusions that little by little unravel in the form of falsehood. In something that we were once promised and never fulfilled.
There are many ways in which life rusts alongside other people. Sometimes they are family, sometimes they are couples … Be that as it may, it is something that we should not allow.
Because few things are as personal and distinctive as the way we really want to live life. And no one should put molds, anchors or puppet strings in it to take us down their own paths.
If you live the life of others, you stop being you
You are your values, your dreams of yesterday and your desires of the present. You are your choices, your illusions in the morning and your sadness in the afternoon. You are what you have achieved and what you still have to achieve … How then to allow others to blur your identity to put on your shoes without your permission?
It is necessary to travel along this path called life in the simplest way possible: in freedom, without burdens on the heart, and without noise on the mind.
You do not have to be afraid of life, you have to enjoy it with joy and fullness. And if at this moment you don’t feel any of the latter, if when you open your eyes in the morning you look flustered by a myriad of negative emotions, it is because perhaps you are not living the life you want. Perhaps you are on the stage that others have created for you.
The full, authentic and happy life does not look for prisoners: nobody belongs to anybody
It is not about maintaining a detached life without ties, without relationships and without anyone significant by our side. It is about being aware that we should not consider anything our property. No person belongs to anyone.
Since I do not belong to you and you do not belong to me, I choose you freely to walk by your hand. So that we are both architects and creators of our own happiness.
- Since I am aware that we are all born free and we have the full right to choose our way of life, I respect your choices, your values and your way of thinking.
- And for this reason, I strive every day to harmonize my personal spaces with the common space that we both share.
I free myself from that life that others had created for me
There are times when family contexts, with possessive mothers or fathers, also configure these contexts where we end up living other people’s lives that others create for us. Affective and couple relationships are, on the other hand, those common territories where this type of dependency and vital constraints occur most.
- To live a happy and fulfilling life we should not “tie” ourselves to one or more people. It is better to anchor ourselves to a goal: happiness. Because it is this objective that will make us discriminate who deserves us and who does not. And who makes you suffer does not deserve you.
Images courtesy Pascal Campion, Anna Dittman, Gaelle Boissonard
