If You Cut My Wings, I Will Use The Broom, But I Will Fly

There are situations in which people feel that they want to develop other talents or dedicate their time to different activities. Thus, when they say “I’m going to fly” or “I need a change”, in addition to their own resistances, they can meet those of the people around them.

It can be the couple, although many of these cases also occur in the environments of the family of origin. Every process of personal development and change already has its own difficulties. This one we are talking about today is one of the most common.

Life is not static. Things change, people evolve and they do not always evolve together or at the same rate or in the same direction. That is why it is important to understand why close people do not always support those variations that we can introduce looking for our personal development. What’s more, they can be an important part of the obstacles to overcome.

Why happens?

First, it must be borne in mind that any process of change or personal development does not affect only those who carry it out, unless they live alone and isolated. We are always part of someone else’s world and in many cases a very significant part. When we change, when we decide “I’m going to fly”, we can also be influencing the lives of those around us. These people may feel that they will have to make some adjustments in their own lives, adjustments that may come at a cost that they are reluctant to pay.

A process of change, especially when it is profound, is always a bit scary. But when necessary, the desire to improve outweighs that uncomfortable part of leaving our comfort zone. It is convenient to anticipate what someone who our measures do not favor may feel. Thus, any process of improvement and personal development makes a natural selection of the relationships that are maintained with others.

These are moments in which the motivation that each one has to be close to you becomes more evident. Although not necessarily: be careful with the interpretations, they are still our own assumptions made from partial information.

The situations to which this “I’m going to fly” can give way are very diverse, as are the resistances that we may encounter. From going to the gym earlier and bothering the person who has to open it – she was used to being five minutes late – to bothering our partner because we have signed up for a course and now we come home later and it’s up to the other to prepare dinner.

The process of change

Change is a complex process in which one encounters personal obstacles. There are several elements that come into play when someone decides to change some aspect of their life. Self-knowledge is an important part. The qualities that one has and also the weaknesses are analyzed. They are moments of self-reflection.

The processes of change and personal development usually appear due to more or less serious crises that put people in the situation of finding a better purpose in life. A “I’m going to fly” is often an encounter with one’s own limiting beliefs. It forces the person making the change to confront many of their fears. This puts those close to them in a situation of uncertainty, of not knowing how far they will be affected by that change.

Facing “I’m going to fly” I already have my own fears

In these cases we can also find the projections of the fears of those close to us. The couple may fear that by coming home so late something might happen to you. We would talk about a fear that is related to you. The same, for example, that parents can experience when their son tells them that he is going to change careers. On the other hand, many people also mistakenly believe that they cannot change, and by extension they think that others can not.

If you are in that moment when a change in your life is pressing for you, if you think you can improve some aspect of yourself or your life, focus on that. People close to you may or may not support you. This is one of the obstacles in all “I’m going to fly” purposes. If these people are called to be part of your new life, they will continue to be by your side; if not, they will be part of the change.