If They Disrespect You, Set Limits And Don’t Allow It
If they disrespect you, set limits and protect yourself from attacks (direct or indirect). We have not come to this world to endure aggressions (however veiled these may be), and even less so when we have done nothing to deserve them. He thinks that we cannot control the behavior of all people, but we can learn to establish limits and consequences when someone exceeds them.
We have come to normalize disrespect as something that is, above all, part of power relations. As if it were a tolerable basis in relationships between people of “different levels of a hierarchy.” We excuse ourselves and we excuse others. “Well … he’s your boss, you have no choice but to put up with him.”
The line that separates what is tolerable and what is intolerable has become blurred, as if it were a pencil stroke over which we have repeatedly passed our finger. On the other hand, each one has the ability and the obligation to set their own limits. However, what is true is that on many occasions we find ourselves doubting whether something has exceeded the limits of respect in a relationship, or not.
Limits protect you from disrespect
Therefore, it is essential to make it clear what we are going to tolerate and what we are not going to tolerate in a relationship. With our friends, with acquaintances, with co-workers, with family … Let’s make an effort to be listening to the signals of our body when someone is crossing the border.
When respect for us is being violated. Our body is wise and will always warn us of it. Listening to him and being aware of him is our task.
In human relationships, no one is superior to anyone. We are all different and perform different activities, but no one is “humanly superior” to anyone. Therefore, if we allow someone to harm or harm us, we should not think superiority is a valid reason.
By this rule of three all people “superior” to us have the right to hurt and harm us. If no one is superior to anyone, then perhaps it is good for you to consider to what extent you are giving that power YOURSELF. That power that another starting point does not have.
We find ourselves empowering certain people to hurt us, and make us feel bad. How? Assuming their lack of respect as something natural, as something that we allow. Like something we let him do. I let you enter my castle and I also let you do whatever you want with it.
If we do not set limits we are allowing the other to harm us
There are many ways in which we allow others to outdo it and in which we send signals to “invite” them to do so. For example, when someone has made us feel very uncomfortable with a comment about us. Instead of letting him know, we shut up and silence him. We keep it in our particular backpack of saved reconres. Thus, we turn their disrespect into poison for us.
At the same time, by consenting to a behavior, we say we are sending a clear message to the other: in the future it is likely that we will consent to it again. Somehow it is as if indirectly we are saying “you can disrespect me if you wish, I let you do it.”
Many times we smile or “draw thick veils” to avoid being honest with our limits and making them see the other. Nothing happens to do it, in fact many times it is a question of survival.
Another reason we keep quiet is because we feel so awkward being assertive. We tread so little that field that many times our message of censorship for the observed conduct is very unclear. Nothing happens, with practice you will learn, the important thing is that you get to it.
Don’t kid yourself, you don’t deserve to be disrespected by anyone
Although enduring disrespect at a given moment is a matter of “survival”, it does not mean that the vast majority are. If someone is disrespecting us, we often have to ask ourselves if we are “accepting” them in order to “survive” or because we are not able to set our limits and we do not value or want enough.
We do not deserve to be disrespected by anyone gratuitously and without any basis. So, if you don’t deserve it, ask yourself if it is better to carry the pain and with a smile change the subject or assume that your limits have been transgressed. You can do a lot to recover your limits and show them authentically when you feel like they are being violated.
It is certainly a challenge, and requires a certain effort if you are not used to doing it, but it is worth it. It is worth respecting YOURSELF, more than letting others disrespect us to maintain their “appreciation” for us.
It is once again about self-care and self-love. A challenge to find happiness in this society of ghoulish lures. Thus, as life is not watertight and also and above all it is yours … you can choose to respect yourself when others do not!
