I Like People Who Look For You For No Reason And Stay Unattached

In our life cycle we accumulate many types of social relationships. Childhood friendships that never expire, ephemeral co-workers, chance encounters with people who acquire more value than the family itself …  We could say that our day-to-day lives are woven from a complex social kaleidoscope where emotions, and feelings, can be very diverse and even contradictory.

Reflect with us now on a very simple question: How many “authentic” people are there in your life? Think not only about your friends, set your assessment also at the family level.

Yes, the count of those people may not reach the fingers of a hand. They are pillars in your day to day, axes of rotation in your soul, in your heart, references that never fail you and in which you can be yourself, without fear of being judged or looking for selfish interests in you.

Let’s talk today in our space about the people who look for us every day for no reason, just because, because you exist, because you are you. Friends, loves and family … Meaningful people who are in your life without ties, without weights and without suffocating. Just sharing life. Enriching you.

The kind of people we include in our lives

It is often said that people, we came into the world like fallen from a chimney. Nobody has the option to choose the type of family or the educational style, more or less successful , that they are going to instill in them. You cannot change your family, but when the time comes, you can choose how you will continue to interact with them.

But not so when we left and that first family sphere, to get into the field complex l as social and emotional relationships. What kind of people do you usually include in your life?

Many types of personalities can come to you, some will fit into the puzzle of your preferences, the atlas of your affections and the Ferris wheel of your emotions, but …  How do you know what kind of people are the most appropriate to give us authentic happiness? ?

The value of reciprocity

It is not a question of “I give you this and now you owe me that.” In reciprocal relationships there is nothing material, it is an emotional reciprocity and a compatibility, where there is no blackmail and even less the need for the other person to fill gaps or problems of their own.

• Reciprocity is knowing that what I invest is returned to me. If I offer you my support, my emotional openness, and my trust, I expect the same from you.
• The moment there is an imbalance, as soon as one of the parties assumes all the effort obtaining only deficiencies, that relationship ceases to “be conscious”, because one of the two acts in an immature way.
• Reciprocity is also based on recognition. “I recognize you as someone important in my life”, therefore I expect the same from you.

The authenticity

There are those who say that authentic people are not abundant, that they are all wrapped up in pretending what they are not or what they would need to be. Authentic people do exist, and they know how to show themselves to you as they are. They accept their virtues and recognize their defects, they have no need to hide behind anything, not even excuses.

Whoever is authentic practices sincerity, but at the same time, we know that it is a type of sincerity that helps and comforts, and that at no time does it seek to attack you or judge you for your actions or words.

• Often, and especially at the family level, the technique of prosecution and sanction tends to appear a lot, the ” I already knew that you would not achieve anything”, “and I tell you for your good, but you are not made to undertake that path”.
• People who are authentic, humble and sincere do not judge lightly or punish. Because whoever is authentic has good self-knowledge and adequate empathy.

Be the person who deserves to be sought first

We must not fall into the mistake of depending on people in general to be happy, to complement the other half of your sofa or to be just the ear of your daily worries.

Just as we seek authenticity in our social relationships, and that they be with us for who we are and without selfishness, we must in turn practice in our own skin what we seek in others.

• Do you want people to trust? Show that you are trustworthy.
• Do you want them to understand you? Learn to listen. Learn to put yourself in the place of the other.
• Do you want them to bring joy to your life? Work on your own happiness first and learn to offer it.

If today you have in your closest social context people who are looking for you for interested reasons, or that type of people who stay with you, placing multiple ties around you … Reflect on what you should do to feel better.

Images courtesy: Karin Taylor, Nina de San