As A Couple, Freedom Is The Air That Enlivens Love

We are human beings belonging to a society that we have not chosen, a society in which the songs speak of how much two people love each other, what they need each other and how idyllic it is to have each other. In children’s movies we see how princes save princesses from dragons to be THEIR queens, where it is almost mandatory that both are one. But … on what plane is FREEDOM, independence, the individual project?

It belongs to you, a house, a mobile, a computer or even a pet, but not a person. The human being belongs to oneself, to the universe and to its experiences. No one has the right to take away your identity and clip your wings.

How We Survive “Romantic” Relationships

In the last two hundred years, we can see how the romantic concept of love has been established, of being complete, of being one and of making each other person’s day unique by being by your side.

You meet a person and everything is wonderful, the first months everything is new, every gesture, every word, every place. You do not want to separate yourself from that person for anything in the world, you start to create dynamics of two, where before you were one. This is wonderful, but time passes and dynamics are in danger of becoming needs, so that everything one does without the other is interpreted as selfishness.

Here is the mistake, we have to be rational enough, within the irrationality that love makes us, so as not to lose our freedom, to be aware that individual activities, our own friends and moments of loneliness, are nothing more than the air that the kite of love needs to fly as high as it can.

Conversation is the best tool to promote independence

In order to promote freedom and independence, healthy and functional communication is essential. It shouldn’t be a problem to inform your partner of your plans. It is not healthy to have to think how to negotiate what you want to do, as if it were a barter, the couple is not a business, it must be a place of trust and understanding in which to pour all the good of both.

When talking as a couple we have to take into account, from both sides, that you are not only talking with your partner: you are talking with your partner and their life experience. It is good that two attitudes come into play here. On the one hand, the understanding that he has to adapt to you, since perhaps in the past he experienced things that now make him a distrustful and fearful person. From the other plane, understand that you do not have your past in front of you, but a new person who is going to give you a new future and is going to be great for both of you.

Enjoy the other, sharing quality time and freedom

We can find the greatest freedom when we take advantage of our time and give it quality, as well as when we appreciate the time that someone else dedicates to us.  By generating this current, we will be able to value the person next to us and each gesture that they have with us, without believing that this is “what they have to do” or that they are obliged to do so because it is what society dictates for their role as a couple.

Therefore, as a final conclusion, it would be good to remember that as a couple, space is vital, both the one that is shared and the one reserved. In fact, it is most likely that favoring the reserved one will also enrich the shared one. Missing, feeling the need of the other or having time for reflection are examples of those activities that can add a lot to your partner and that are difficult to feel or do if you spend every moment together.