Are Your Problems Boring?

Do you think you have boring problems? Do you notice that your audience pouts when you speak? The famous French philosopher Voltaire used to say that “the secret of boring people is to say everything”. Is it your case? So maybe you should rethink your way of relating and communicating with others.

There are several studies that have been carried out to find out what are the most boring topics, the most tiring forms of behavior for the interlocutor and even how to identify a listener who is wanting to lose sight of a speaker.

The boring problem counter

Years ago, the doctor in psychology and neuroscience Mark Leary of Duke University conducted a comprehensive study on everything that bores even stones while listening to a person. Interestingly, the main conclusion did not establish the theme as a basic problem. It is not what is said, it is how it is said :

• According to Leary’s studies, a negative speaker who constantly complains about his problems and criticizes excessively ends up being a very boring person to listen to.
• The trivial, superficial and trivial topics in excess also end up being boring problems in the face of the capacity that listens to the speaker.
• Marking distances with your interlocutor can also be a source of boredom for the listener, as the conversation can become monotonous and half-hearted.
• Excessive pauses, slow speech, excessively long points of view and other similar techniques are actually synonymous with boredom.

• An excessively passive person, with little to contribute to a conversation, necessarily has a good chance of being boring.

• Constantly talking about yourself is one of the most boring problems there is. Only if you have a narcissistic touch and can make it seem like you care about others will you have the option of being the life of the party.
• Excessively serious people, unable to empathize, smile or appear nice are also often boring to the crowd.
• The imposed attitudes of people trying to be artificially funny also end up being boring. Or worse, they end up being irritating.
• Lastly, Professor Leary highlighted those individuals who constantly interrupt, talk around the bush, wind up in platitudes, and are unable to provide innovative or engaging points of view. This profile is a clear example of a person with boring problems.

Ultimately, Professor Leary tried to show that there really are no people with boring problems, but bad communicators. The constipation of a dog can be an exciting topic in the mouth of a good speaker. However, a coup can be tedious if told by a languid and pedantic person.

How to identify the boring interlocutor

Now, are we boring speakers? Can we make the most patient person on the planet want to be swallowed by the earth when we open our mouths? There are a series of keys to identify the interlocutor who does not support our chatter:

• According to University of California Psychology Professor Albert Mehrabian, words are 7% of communication, the rest is tone of voice in 38% and body language in 55%. This means that the gestures of an interlocutor will give us the clue as to whether we are boring him or not. Nervousness, constant tics, and other details are examples of an audience wanting to escape.

• An important detail is to see if our audience smiles. In this way, a motivating dialogue is achieved. The barrier between listener and speaker will also be broken. It is important to know how to listen, to address the interlocutor in a decisive way and to question him by name to establish closeness.
• Clock touches are the worst example of a speaker boring his audience. Details such as yawning, the constant look at the time or certain exaggerated gestures are a clear example that the capacity is tired of our conversation.

In conclusion, there really are no boring problems. Everything is in the human capacity to communicate. Reaching the listener in a direct, sincere and empathetic way is the best way not to tire anyone. An insignificant problem can be a source of entertaining discussions as long as you know how to transmit.